He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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