Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
