I just cut my nipple shaving
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize