Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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