I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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