haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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