This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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