The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
