dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I have post one night stand depression
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