Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
