did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
