worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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