You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
