His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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