AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
