Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
