Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
