And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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