My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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