shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
