Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
