you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I would ride that face into the sunset
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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