I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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