My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
