I just made out with a guy for $7.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
