I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
