Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
