i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
