My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
