I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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