Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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