Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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