i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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