I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just high enough for therapy.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
