I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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