so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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