i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize