he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize