I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
