we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize