Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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