Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
