I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
