I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Where is the hickey?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize