i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
