I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I think your dad took our porno
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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