Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
