I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
bring money and cleavage
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
