I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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