There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
