I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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