I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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