we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
