"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
