Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
