what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wish life had little blips of pornography
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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