your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
