so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
