If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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